Oneself
by TeamGwenee
Summary: Tom and Edith have a talk. Disclaimer: I don't own DA.
1. Chapter 1

Oneself

Edith and Tom decided to take advantage of the mild weather and take George, Sybbie and Little Marigold for a walk. The children ran ahead, brandishing branches at each other like the knights in their story book. Well George and Sybbie were knights, Marigold insisted on being a princess and told everyone she was wearing a deep pink and silver ball gown. This didn't stop her from joining in on the sword fight. In fact, she was surprisingly ferocious for such a usually docile little girl.

Tom smiled as he noticed Edith laughing, the setting sun lighting up her hair.

"You've looked well, since I got back," he noted politely.

Edith smiled back and nodded, "You two,"

"No, really. Being a career woman suits you,"

"I like working. It's good doing something you care about,"

"Must be nice," he muttered, just a tad bitter.

Edith turned and faced him, an eyebrow raised.

"Well aren't you too?"

Tom didn't answer.

Edith sighed. "Tom. Don't think this is due to my feelings for Mary. I would say this if I worshipped the ground She walked on,"

Tom smirked.

"Just remember that before your duty to Mary, or Downton, or any of us, you have a duty to yourself. A duty to your own beliefs and principles. You must not forget that,"

"You can hardly want me start burning castles down again," "Perhaps not, but you shouldn't just give up on your morals. You simply need to find a new way of expressing them,"

The truth was Tom had not thought of his principles, or morals, or even Ireland in the longest time. But as he did he felt his heart pull at the memory of his home. Those short few months with Sybil had been the happiest of his life, the memories of those love filled days were surrounded with the golden glow of nostalgia and longing.

"Do you think Sybil would be ashamed of me?" he asked suddenly. "I'm not the man I once was. I fear I have lost myself,"

Edith thought carefully. "I believe Sybil would be proud of how good a father you are, and happy that you have made us your family. But I also think she would want you to be true to yourself. There's a world outside Downton Tom. And it is beautiful and terrible and grand and disgusting. And it's waiting for us,"

Tom nodded, "You are right. But I'm not sure if I could leave Downton yet,"

"Just think about it," Edith suggested, bending down to pick up two broken twigs, "But for now, we have a fight to see to,"

She handed him his sword.

"Come Tom, let's do battle,"


	2. Chapter 2

Tom pondered upon what Edith said awhile. Although he believed Sybil would be glad to see him happy, he had to admit he was no longer the man she loved. And fair enough, she had died and he had to change. But did he really have to change so much?

He looked at his surroundings. There were pictures on the wall that could support a starving family for over a year, his own included. He now wore black tie for dinner and when he was struggling with his cuff links he seriously considered asking for a footman to help dress him. Where once he did all he could to help the starving masses, he now dedicated his time to keeping afloat an estate that represented all that he had hated.

Downton was his home. It had his new family there after all, and he was comfy there. Downton gave him a purpose and work when he needed a purpose and work. But he needn't spend his like trying to keep it afloat like a boat filled with holes.

He gazed at himself in the mirror. It was strange to look at himself and see a person he was not sure he liked. His eyes hardened. Edith was right. He must do something different. Downton was a building; not a life. Besides, he was still young. He still had time to truly do something that mattered. Yes! Now was his chance. He would become Tom Branson again, the Irishman determined to make the world a better place.

Tom looked back at the mirror. Maybe he did like what he saw after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Edith gently stroked Marigold's hair, watching her baby sleep. In the corner of her eye lay Sybbie, her face still red from when nanny had washed it in order to get her 'warrior paint' off. Silently; so as not to wake the slumbering children, she walked back to her room.

Edith stared out from the balcony overlooking the hall and thought. With all it's grandeur and pomp Downton seemed to be a being of it's own. The imposing tapestries and daunting doorways glared up at her. If Downton were a person, it never liked her. It never made her happy. All her best memories were away from Downton and she had longed to escape just as much as Sybil.

And in return Edith despised Downton. She had never once fallen under it's spell. Although she worried about the servants and tenants; Downton itself meant nothing to her. She could quite happily see it crumble. At best, Downton and Edith tolerated each other. Downton gave Edith a place to stay and Edith only burnt the place down once. But that was it. They were hardly on Christmas card turns.

Edith shook her head at her own foolishness. Downton was merely a building, not a God-like being with a life of it's own. And the others would do to remember it. She sauntered down the halls to her own room.

Unlike the others, Edith never truly needed Downton except for bread and board. And; although it was ludicrous, she could imagine the stately house seething at Edith's lack of interest in it. But that was it. Edith didn't need Downton. Her work at the magazine was her pride. Marigold was her joy and her dreams... well her dreams belonged to a nice man with a friendly smile and nice eyes. A man who made her sandwiches and coffee and called her inspiring. Edith felt her tummy wriggle as she thought of Bertie Pelham.

He had called her inspiring. And maybe she was! She was a mother, she had a career. And; she noted looking at herself in the mirror, Tom was right. She really did look well.

She smiled at her reflection.

'It was nice,' Edith thought, "To smile at the mirror and see someone you like smiling back,'


End file.
